Sunday, August 25, 2013

Dating... Yikes.

Confession. I'm horrible at this dating thing. I don't even think I like it but then again, who does? I also think I'm a crappy date. Let me explain: I'll "ace" the first date like it's some kind of test but then after the second one the guys just seem to dwindle away. Usually because they're so "busy" or just "not ready to date right now" since they've just come out of a relationship. No. I think the problem lies with yours truly. And I don't really know why. I'm not clingy, not obsessive, not materialistic and I don't expect the guy to pay. I would actually prefer to go dutch to be completely honest. Something about not wanting to owe him anything. Yes, I have issues.. But, and this is a major but, I think I'm easy. If I really like someone I might sleep with them on the second date and I'm not afraid of kissing. I know I'm giving the milk away for free but am I not allowed to have some fun if he's not looking for anything else anyway?

The guys I've dated are really smooth talkers even though I tell them I see through their bullshit. Somehow, I keep falling for it time after time. I do, however, have standards and don't take crap that compromises me in any way, shape or form. And I only give a guy a chance so many times. I'm not afraid of deleting their numbers and telling them straight if they're being asshats. It's the ones that are nice but players that always get me. 

And in the back of my mind I'm also always thinking about how to potentially tell a new boyfriend about my illness. Tricky. Very tricky indeed. The boyfriends that I've had (and there hasn't been many) have been fine with it and have always said they could never tell and somehow they've ended up being more messed up than me. Huff. Someone please save me from these wounded birds. I'm not looking to save anyone, just as little as I'm looking for anyone to save me. I can manage just fine on my own, thank you. 

Thank you for reading. Means the world. I'll blog more soon.

- P <3

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