Monday, September 09, 2013

To be or not to be..... Happy.

I'll be honest, I feel like a complete failure. I'm currently unemployed (work as a temp but that's on a on-a-need basis so doesn't count), I live at home, I've achieved little with my Bachelors degree and I'm eternally single (of course I am, I'm not exactly a catch am I?) - not to mention I've started a diet. That's right, I've joined a wellness class. According to the Tanita readings that were done I have the body of a 40 - year- old. Gee, thanks. I've done well for myself.

 Now, according to the coach, most of this is due to dehydration and then there's the bit of unnecessary pounds that I'm sure don't help either.  Well, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired (not to mention sad and just plain unhappy with myself - bipolar illness excluded) so I decided to turn a new leaf. I said goodbye to the mean former flame with whom I had just re-started a romance (looking back I just wanted some answers I think, some what if's answered) but he turned out mean this time. He wasn't last time. I'm not a masochist, don't worry, although looking at my dating history it might certainly seem like it. Anyway, got rid of him after basically being called the Anti-Christ and I feel much better for it. I didn't want him to aggravate my bipolar in any way because just thinking about him hurt. I also haven't been too stable lately so I knew it was bound for a downwards spiral - and fast. It also helps to have wonderful friends who also think he's the biggest asshat on the planet.. 

Back to point, changing my lifestyle is what I think needs to finally happen to get some sort of balance in my life. I know I'll fail a few times. I'm bound too but that's okay as long as I don't give up. Luckily I have a coach this time which I've never had before. That will help with my motivation. I've also applied for over a 100 jobs (I kid you not) so there's bound to be one in there for me, right? Just nod your head and agree with me. Would make me feel better ;) As for the housing situation, I'm lucky to live at home and pay limited rent and eat for free. See? I'm thinking positive :) And the single life? Meh, I've access to an unlimited supply of chocolate should the need arise. I think I'll be fine.

Thank you for reading. Feel free to comment. I'd love to hear from you!

- P <3

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